Agraynel and Arrotel

[Wired*Nun]

Walking up to his room, still assigned him from last time, Arrotel looks at Siodmak sidelong. He walks beside Arrotel without comment, and without complaint. Arriving at the room, Arrotel pushes the door open and waves Siodmak inside. Closing the door and settling Telloth on a sturdy oak beam at the top of the four-poster bed, Arrotel turns to study his newfound brother. Siodmak rubs the wrist with the jade bracelet, and stares back.

[Icebird]

High praise, coming from him. Actually, I can't even remember the last time I heard him congratulate or approve of anything.

"Well, if you haven't done anything wrong, then you have nothing to worry about. If you have, you needn't even bother trying to hide it- he'll find out quickly enough."

Arrotel thinks on what he's just said, then adds,

"Well, done nothing wrong in relation to the rest of us. Almost everyone has a few skeletons in their closet, but most of us have a few mass graves and random and still twitching body parts hanging around."

He gives up his attempt to lighten the mood and shuts up, waiting for Benedict to appear.

[Wired*Nun]

"Arrotel, I've made my own rules all my life. I've done extreme things to survive. Even 'normal' people can forgive me that. Where they're going to burn me is the things I've done because I just like to. Morality is for weaklings. Good is for weaklings, evil is for weaklings. It's all just a word game. Look around you. People with power pull all the strings. So okay. I'll go with the power."

[Icebird]

"Yes, the people with power pull the strings. I'm manipulated all the time, I know. But I do what they think they want me to because at the end of the day, they don't sleep any better than me, although I'm sure many are without enough of a conscience to do sleep worse. It is all just a game, and as long as I don't get killed, I enjoy being a pawn as much as I would being the king. Power makes things happen, or so I keep getting told, but it doesn't bring happiness. Well, I can't really speak for you, but what does make you happy is something that you have to discover for yourself."

Odd how quickly I'm spilling myself to him. I haven't opened to anyone else this quickly in I can't remember how long. Perhaps it's because he needs it so much.

[Wired*Nun]

"Listen bro, I know what makes me happy. One thing would be to get out of this bracelet," he says, holding up the jade thing, "and get out of this place. And if you don't mind being a pawn, baby, I can set you up better than they have. I'm not anyone's willing pawn. I just know how to get out and come out on top, mostly." He begins to look around the spartan room, as if searching for anything to give him an advantage.

Finding a heavy marble ashtray, he sets his wrist on the marble-topped table and makes ready to smash the bracelet.

[Icebird]

"Somehow, I don't think Fi would have made it that easy to get out of. If you smash it, there's a good chance that you'll be killed by the backlash, or at least well stunned. Don't you at least want to see what your dad has to say to you first? If you wait for him to have a chance to talk with you, then I won't interfere if you try and get away after that."

Arrotel gets ready to tackle Sidomak if the bracelet shatters.

Hope he didn't inherit too much more strength than me. Come on brother.. Don't try anything stupid...

[Wired*Nun]

Telloth says, "But I'm inside, right behind you! And there are no windows!"

"Yeah, but if I wait around for 'daddy,' if he's all badass like Elress told me, he'll stop me anyway." The ashtray comes down, and bounces right off the jade. "Crap. Stronger than it looks. Oh well. Guess I'll have to roll with it."

Putting the ashtray down, he continues to look around the room. "So, something to drink in here?" He rummages around in the furniture, quickly finding the liquor cabinet. "Someone has taste. Single-barrel Jack." He opens and chugs the liquor, then opens a bottle of water and drinks from that too. He hops into a comfy chair and props his boots on the edge of the desk.

"So, what else do you know about me that I don't know about myself? And how do you know?"

[Icebird]

Arrotel relaxes as Sidomak sets down the ashtray, and takes a seat himself.

"Well, I'm not sure where he got it, but Josh," he pays very close attention for any reaction to the name, "found a book writen in blood on human skin. That's where we got your mother's story, along with some details that we'd rather not know. As for setting me up nicely, if that was what I wanted, I could do it just as quickly as you and probably even closer to what I really wanted."

[Wired*Nun]

No reaction proceeds at the mention of the name. "Josh, eh? Who's that, another of our brothers? Oooohhhh, human blood, skin, spooky. My mother's story?" He looks sharply at Arrotel, suddenly focused. "You have this book handy?"

[Icebird]

"No, I don't I'm not sure exactly where it got off to- I think that Gray had it last, although that was a few days ago. Oh, Josh is a cousin."

[Wired*Nun]

"Well, I would be very interested to read that. Maybe if I felt I had any actual connection to you people other than some vagary of genetics I might care to play along with these games...I'd also like to know how I ended up where I did, left to die in that stinking shithole...and who's at fault."

[Icebird]

'Well, the book only really mentioned you in passing- an unwanted son from Benedict, born in some 'vagary of genetics', as you put it. You were apparently handed off to one of your mother's aunts to taken care of. After that, I don't know what happened or didn't that you were abandoned. I'll see if I can get that book, or at least a copy, for you to read sometime soon."

[Wired*Nun]

"Thanks...I'm not big on self-pity, but revenge is a dish best served cold, and it's damned cold enough where I grew up for that dish to be ready to serve...glad you clued me in to that, brother." So daddy didn't want me before, and now he only cares because I'm a threat...this place is no different than home, except for the temperature... "Looks like I'll have a nice list of relatives to feed."

A perfunctory knock at the door signals Benedict entering the room. Siodmak's gaze locks with Benedict's, and Benedict's moves away first, not so much as in defeat as in calculation. Perhaps he is avoiding playing Siodmak's game as he looks at Arrotel, then around the room.

"Traveling light, as ever, son. That's good, because we have a journey ahead of us. Siodmak, can you ride?"

"A horse, you mean? Are you joking? I'd never even seen a horse until a few days ago."

"All right," Benedict says, unperturbed. "We can be in vehicular territory quickly enough. Let us be off. Siodmak, so that there be no mistake in your understanding: you have been released into my charge. If you attempt to escape, or even succeed, I will take that as prima fascie evidence of your guilt, and you will be turned over to the inquisition, or be killed. If you want your freedom, you must convince me you deserve it."

Siodmak sighs. "Yes, sir, I understand." Benedict's eye may have twitched at this apparent acquiescence...or maybe not.

With that, he turns and walks out, leaving the other two to follow. Siodmak does follow, and they head down the hallway, through the corridors and out to the western exit to the castle grounds.

[Icebird]

"Anything worth taking I can find at the destination as easily as here. Assuming of course, that there were anything that I would want to find or take."

Making sure he has his small purse of gold from earlier still on his belt, Arrotel follows. He carries gets Telloth on his shoulder until they are outside, then launches him, leaving him free to stay in Amber a while longer or follow, as he chooses.

[Wired*Nun]

That's okay, I'll find your handle sometime...

A short hike out the west gate, and down the road leading to Arden. Much sooner than Arrotel would expect, the shadowshifting begins. He is the oldest known living Amberite, other than Dworkin, recalls Arrotel. I guess one gets good in all that time.

The shifts are rapid - almost a Hellride with minimal danger. A hell-walk? Wonder how he manages to maintain this kind of concentration and walk, too. Siodmak for his part looks around in evident wonder, forgetting to keep his usual cold sneer on his face. Telloth paces the three above.

An hour or more and they are walking down a lonely highway of blacktop, desert on either side, telephone poles standing at uneven angles along one side. Dry mountains in the distance waver in the heat, and Telloth gives a scream of happiness, stooping on some native rodent.

A few more minutes, enough for Arrotel to begin sweating and wishing for a cold drink, and an automobile occurs, parked under a tree at a small rest-stop. Signs in some Thari variant say "Burstow, 54" and, under it, scrawled in red paint, "Hell, just a little further."

Bendict leads the two others to the vehicle, a luxury car in a rich brown color. Opening the passenger door, he says, to Siodmak, "Drive."

He reaches under the seat, pulling out three glass bottles of cold liquid. "8-UP," declare the labels, and Siodmak snorts with laughter. "That's appropriate," he says. Benedict looks at him impassively, apparently not getting the joke, or perhaps ignoring it. Handing a bottle to each man, he opens his own and drinks. "Let's go."

Siodmak, after examining the controls for a moment, starts the car and puts it in gear. "Which way?" he asks.

"Does it matter?" responds Benedict.

"Guess not..." says Siodmak. Down the highway they travel, in the same direction as before, the air conditioner providing welcome relief. The landscape undergoes subtle changes, but mantains a desert theme. The gas guage shows half a tank, and the vehicle undergoes subtle shifts as they drive, but always a deep brown luxury sedan. Arrotel relaxes in the soft leather seats, thinking...then comes a scratching at his mind's door, Trump calling calling...

[Icebird]

Arrotel sniffs the 8-Up before he drinks it, and gives a small smile at Sidomak's comment.
[Later]
"Trump call coming in."

Arrotel closes his eyes and concentrates on nothing, then accepts.

"Knock knock..." He says, if it's anyone he recognizes and it isn't Random or Fiona.

[chalice]

[OOC: I think this is Gray calling him - is it it, Dave? - if it isn't, um, ignore the next post:) ]

[Yes, it's all good.]

[chalice]

"Knock knock..." He says, if it's anyone he recognizes and it isn't Random or Fiona.
A slightly nervous giggle is the response. "Arrotel?" says Gray's voice. "Are you...oh, I see... 'who's there?'

"Look, can I pass you some stuff?" she holds out the book, her Trump and a scribbled note: We agreed you'd have this Trump if we split up, so here it is. Thought maybe S. should read the book? We are headed back to Asmundson's home to check out some mystery visitor, then either to check out the 'storybook sequence' or chase Landon. Take care, good luck, and call if you need us for anything, G.

[Icebird]

"Banana. Knock Knock."

"Who's there?"

(Repeat once more)

"Orange you glad I didn't say banana?"

Arrotel drops the blackout, "Sure. Anything interesting going on with you? We're in route somewhere in shadow now." He takes the items from Gray. [Insert anything else she says here]

"See you later," he adds, then ends the call.

"That was Gray. I've got the book here I was telling you about earlier, too."

Arrotel hands the book to Sidomak, and pockets the trump.

[chalice]

He takes the items from Gray.
[Insert anything else she says here]
Now that she can see Arrotel, Gray gives him a warm smile. All she has to add is: "Um - hope it all works out."

"See you later," he adds, then ends the call.

[Wired*Nun]

Siodmak takes the book and tucks it into the side pocket of the car, continuing to drive.

Shadowshifting follows, slowly, subtly, turning the sky to yellow, then orange, then night falls, bringing some relief from the scorching sun as it sets behind them. East, west, everything changes minute to minute, as Benedict works his changes upon the landscape. A glow off to the left shows in the sky, and then flashes, as of explosions. A muffled *crump* as of artillery fire can be heard, and starshells and parachute flares light the horizon to the north. Nothing disturbs their travels, though.

Two hours later, lights can be seen up ahead, and Benedict directs Siodmak to pull into an abandoned rest area. No other traffic has been sighted for some time. Getting out, Benedict turns to relieve himself, pointedly turning his back on Siodmak. Siodmak's hands twitch, but nothing else shows in his demeanor as he follows suit.

"We're almost home, sir. Only, it's too warm here. I presume that will change?"

"Soon, and soon I will need you to smooth our way through your underlings." The unspoken question hangs in the air between them. With compresed lips, Siodmak gives a sharp nod. Playing along for now, it seems...

Back in the vehicle, which has taken the form of a 1999 Mercedes 600E, Siodmak pulls the car back onto the highway. Moments later, the temperature drops precipitously, and the climate control kicks in to provide heat. "Flagstaff 12" reads the next sign they pass. Soon, they are rolling into town. Scattered lights can be seen, but most of the ruined city is dark.

The first checkpoint is on the edge of what used to be downtown. Stares and whispers greet Siodmak as he drives, along with frantic wavings-through and obsequiousness. Two more checkpoints, and Siodmak has a kind of sneer plastered to his face.

Soon, he pulls the car into the underground garage below the only tall building fully intact, in the center of town. He parks, and gets out, putting the slim, rolled-up manuscript into his left cargo pocket.

Benedict is now dressed in leathers, and slings his sword over his back, the tip of the scabbard almost touching the heavy automatic pistol strapped to his left leg. Arrotel finds himself similarly attired, without noticing the change.

Several thuggish-looking fellows come hurrying up, saluting Siodmak as they do. He tosses the keys to one of them, and says, "Tell Harry I'm coming up, with guests." It's a good thing, because even out of the wind, the cold bites into their skin. It's probably below -20C, and dry enough to feel the moisture leaving their eyeballs.

[Icebird]

[Arrotel hasn't ever been in anything much higher tech than Amber, so he'll be a bit in awe for a little while.]

Benedict turns to relieve himself, pointedly turning his back on Siodmak. Siodmak's hands twitch, but nothing else shows in his demeanor as he follows suit.
Arrotel tenses slightly at this, but he relaxes as soon as he notices.

If he can't defend himslef, then what am I going to do? No good getting myself in knots every time something like that happens.

The first checkpoint is on the edge of what used to be downtown. Stares and whispers greet Siodmak as he drives, along with frantic wavings-through and obsequiousness. Two more checkpoints, and Siodmak has a kind of sneer plastered to his face.
Arrotel's look is in sharp contrast to Sidomak's sneer- the glazed expression of someone who is awed and wishes to examine everything around him, but doesn't want to look like a fool a the same time.

"Amazing. How many people live here?"

Arrotel follows Sidomak, keeping silent most of the time.

[Wired*Nun]

"Maybe fifty thousand, now. Used to be a lot more." say Siodmak without looking back.

After the three come in out of the cold, Siodmak stops and steps closer to Benedict. "What now."

"I want to examine this Maze of yours."

"All right." Siodmak leads them to an elevator, passing guards - thugs, really, Arrotel can see - and up through more than thirty floors. At least, that's what the numbers seem to indicate, and the feeling of movement.

Stepping out, Siodmak waves a hand in the direction of the green glowing thing in front of them. "Voila. Whatever that means."

Benedict stops and just looks at it for a while.

"Siodmak." he says. "Can you influence or control this?"

"Yes, I can make it do tricks."

"How do you do that?"

"For most things, you have to be in contact with it."

Benedict stares at it for another long moment. "Come here."

Siodmak walks over to Benedict, who says, "Hold out your arm. I need some blood from you."

A moment's hesitation, then Siodmak shrugs, and holds out his bare left arm. Benedict draws his dagger, and carefully cuts Siodmak's forearm, catching the blood in a piece of cloth held in his gloved right hand. He holds it there until it is well soaked.

"Bind it."

Taking the cloth, Benedict ties it into a loose knot, and walks to within about thirty feet of the Maze.

He tosses the blood-soaked rag at the glowing green.

[Icebird]

As soon as Benedict asks Sidomak for blood, Arrotel will bring up the pattern lense.

"Our blood does some interesting things to the pattern, though I doubt yours will do the same here- only those of Amber blood can walk the pattern, but the maze doesn't seem so picky," Arrotel explains.

[Wired*Nun]

The wad of blood-soaked cloth enters the Maze at eye level, but the three men there have little time to note this fact, as the green substance reacts in an eyeblink. The cloth is surrounded with a green glow, and expelled away from the Maze, to hit the window nearest the men. It lies there, sputtering like a badly-made firework, the glow fading, and the reaction eventually peters out over thirty seconds or so.

From Arrotel's point of view, the blood caused a bright flare of energy, otherwise looking the same mystically as it does physically.

"Interesting."

"Now Arrotel, please." Benedict holds out another cloth, and his dagger.

[Icebird]

Arrotel holds out his arm, and flinches a little as the dagger cuts.

"If the blood of an initiate doesn't do anything, or it won't let itself be touched and thus damaged, I doubt mine will fare differently. I have been curious as to what would happen if I walked it myself, however. It reacted strongly to a pattern sword, melting the case and all, but if pattern and logrus can be in the same person without killing him, then pattern and maze should be compatable as well."

[Wired*Nun]

Before the knife can break Arrotel's skin, a pseudopod from the Maze lunges in their direction. Benedict shoves Arrotel away and skips backward, easily evading the grasping, glowing extension. His blade has appeared in his hand, probably more by reflex than any belief it could help defend against the artifact.

"It seems it can learn," says Benedict. "It is probably at least semi-sentient, perhaps fully so. Let us see." Raising his voice, he calls. "MAZE!"

There is no perceptible response. "Maze, I want to talk." Nothing.

"Well, that's" - at this moment, something begins to take shape next to the Maze, a horse-shaped something that is hard to see or focus on.

[Icebird]

After Benedict finishes talking, Arrotel puts in his two cents.

"Well, the pattern is, and this seems to be in the same class of objects. It seems that there is no reason it wouldn't have intelligence as well."

About the appearing shape;

"If I'm not mistaken, this will be the nightmare next. She's the patron of the maze, much like the unicorn is to the pattern, although less inspiring and powerfull, I belive."

[Pattern sign still up]

[Wired*Nun]

"Yes," he says drily. "I got the briefing. So you've seen the Unicorn?"

The thing takes shape, a wispy, ghostly shape that rapidly takes on solid form, seeming to leap onto the marble floor with a ringing of hooves like silver triangles. Siodmak stalks forward to stand next to Benedict, facing the thing, and holds out his hands as if in greeting.

"Welcome to my Nightmare," he says sardonically. "I think you're gonna like it."

The Nightmare taken form before the three men radiates power in waves almost physical, like heat off of a forge. A sub-bass rumbling vibration accompanies the thing, and a feeling like all the music in the world, rolled into one crashing cacaphonic symphony, neither discordant nor harmonic, but something in between.

In form it - she? appears to have an equine body, greens and blues and purples shot through in varying zebra-stripes, stippled as the skies over Chaos. The head of the creature is shaped as a horse but formed as a snake - not sinous, but fixed, as if one stretched the skin of a viper and mounted it over the horse's skull. It is a startling effect, and not unattractive. Short, reptilian spines form a mane, further maintaining the equine theme.

The men have only a little time to observe this, as the Nightmare immediately lunges for Benedict, striking with blinding speed, mouth open, fangs exposed.

[Icebird]

Arrotel yells, "And friendlier too!" trying to distract it for a moment, slow it down even by a little bit. Assuming Benedict isn't taken down instantly, Arrotel will grab Gray's trump from his pocket and call as fast as he can, with rapidly escalating force if he can't get through immediately.

Answer, answer... Maybe Asmundson can reason with it...

[Wired*Nun]

Benedict sidesteps the Nightmare's lunge, but is knocked sprawling by its equine shoulder. This may have been his intent, as he turns the blow into a roll across the floor, coming out of it in a flat dive, drawing his pistol and firing three rounds at the window in one fast motion. The glass explodes outward, helped by the pressure of the forced-air heating in the building, and Benedict's body enters the hole like the arc of a diver into the water. He can be seen for just an instant before he begins to fall, jacknifeing before he disappears into the night.

The Nightmare rears up, and expands, hot and terrible as a new sun dawning. Arrotel feels the power of its presence beating against his will, commanding obeisance, obedience, as is only its just due. Siodmak is smiling now, a cruel sneer of triumph, as he steps toward Arrotel, his hand outstretched. "Behold, something greater than yourself. Join us, brother, and we will reshape the world in our images. Refuse, and be cast aside."

[Icebird]

"I've seen many things greater than myself, and most of them don't attack people without at least telling why or speaking first. And by the way, I've heard those exact words twice now. I'd usually kill you, but that seems doubtfull with a powerfull demon in the room. We'll get to that part later, I suppose."

Arrotel steps through the trump to Gray, if nothing prevents him.

[Wired*Nun]

"Ah, like Daddy attacked the Maze, and thereby, its avatar? And now you'll kill me, brother? You're all a pack of hypocrites, and you deserve your fate." His spittle, and his laughter, pass through the rainbow of Arrotel's departure.

[Wired*Nun]

[To, then from, Rebis' thread]

The call comes through to Arrotel. Benedict is standing beside a daylit floor-to-ceiling window, apparently high up. Wispy clouds float in the distance, and he is dressed in a smart business suit. His left hand is inside his jacket, his right holding the card. He relaxes minutely when he sees Arrotel apparently not under duress, and says, "Report."

Instead, Arrotel and Agraynel reach out, and Benedict pulls them through. Taking his hand out of his coat, he waves them to seats. They seem to be in a nicely-appointed office in a functioning, modern office building. "Jerome Benedict, Senior Vice President," says the plate on the desk.

"All right. What just happened?"

[chalice]

Gray stands looking around, taking in her surroundings (and recovering her composure) while Arrotel gives his report.

Her only brief interruption will be a soft "Are you hurt, at all?" to Benedict.

[Wired*Nun]

A brief shake of his head. "No." His face is stone. "You two seem undamaged. I would like Arrotel to report to Random or Flora what just happened. It seems I have a son to kill." He reaches into his jacket again, pulling out the large pistol, retrieves his weapon from where it stands beside his chair, and slings the scabbard off the sword, into the corner. Naked blade and firearm in hand, he makes ready to depart.

[chalice]

A brief shake of his head. "No." His face is stone. "You two seem undamaged. I would like Arrotel to report to Random or Flora what just happened. It seems I have a son to kill." He reaches into his jacket again, pulling out the large pistol, and retrieves his weapon from where it stands beside his chair, and slings the scabbard off the sword, into the corner. Naked blade and firearm in hand, he makes ready to depart."I'm so sorry," says Gray softly, to both men.

"I'll go with you to Amber, Arrotel. There are things I need to convey to Random as well."

[OOC: pause here for Arrotel action/recation]

After any further conversaton between Arrotel and Benedict, and unless Arrotel objects, she takes out her borrowed trump of Amber's Main Hall, sighs

well, the calm was nice while it lasted

and begins to concentrate on it. If she succeeds in raising contact, she will step through - with Arrotel unless he chooses not to come.

[Icebird]

Arrotel seems a bit suprised at the sudden change from falling into a business suit and office.

Probably time tricks- who knows how long he's been away, from his point of view.

"I told Sidomak that I'd kill him later, but I can see that it wasn't really meant to be. One good thing that encounter did, it has cured me of all desire to walk the maze!"

After this, ha allows Gray to take him to Amber.

[chalice]

Once in Amber, Gray will grab a couple of servants - one is asked to bring a stiff drink for Arrotel; the other dispatched with a message asking for an appointment for Gray and Arrotel with the King, when convenient.

"I'm sorry, Arrotel. It was my stupidity helped put you and your father in this position," she says quietly to her cousin as they wait.

And I'm sorry about Siodmak too...I almost thought we got through to him...but I suppose that was just wishful thinking

[Icebird]

Arrotel decines the drink, saying "It's easy to forget, when we all look so young, but I really am. And don't feel sorry- we learned quite a bit that is usefull to know that we wouldn't have found out otherwise."

[chalice]

Arrotel decines the drink, saying "It's easy to forget, when we all look so young, but I really am. And don't feel sorry- we learned quite a bit that is usefull to know that we wouldn't have found out otherwise."
Gray sighs. "I suppose we did."

Then she smiles. "So - how old are you really? I'm seventeen. If you don't count the 200 years beauty sleep, that is..."

[Wired*Nun]

Gray will grab a couple of servants - one is asked to bring a stiff drink for Arrotel;

One servant, an older man carrying a notebook, looks at the other, a young woman with a box of papers. "I'll see about the King," he says. "Perhaps you'll show the Lady where the bar is?"

The woman leads Gray a few steps to the enormous bar arrangement that stands in the great hall, and says, "I don't know anything about these things, milady, but they are always here." She looks embarrassed at her inability to fulfil Gray's request. "Will that be all?"

A few minutes later, a page runs up and says, "Lady Agraynel? The King will see you now." He leads them to Random's office, off the small throne room. Bill Roth is sitting at a table with a yellow legal pad, covered with scribbles. Random is at his desk, and picks up a small crystal ball and begins to roll it fluidly across his hand, front and back, up and down.

"What's up, lady and gentleman?" His tone is brisk, but not impatient.

[chalice]

She looks embarrassed at her inability to fulfil Gray's request. "Will that be all?"

Gray gives her an encouraging smile. "Yes. Thank you."


A few minutes later, a page runs up and says, "Lady Agraynel? The King will see you now." He leads them to Random's office, off the small throne room. Bill Roth is sitting at a table with a yellow legal pad, covered with scribbles. Random is at his desk, and picks up a small crystal ball and begins to roll it fluidly across his hand, front and back, up and down.

"What's up, lady and gentleman?" His tone is brisk, but not impatient.

"Two different things, sir. I think Arrotel should go first - his information is more time sensitive." As far as I know, anyway.

[Icebird]

[When Gray asks his age]
"Well, I supose I should start respecting my elders then. I greet thee, lady Agraynal." He makes a little mock-bow, then immidiatly drops the formal attitude.

"I'm 16, not including nothing. I'm not sure exactly how much Amber time that is, but after the Black- the war with chaos was ended."

[getting to his report]
"Well, to cut it short, Benedict took us to the maze in Flagstaff, tried to burn it with Sid's blood, which it deflected, and was about to try with mine when the nightmare appeared and attacked him. He dived out the window, while I brandied words with Sid, then escaped to Gray, who had some interesting guests. Benedict took us to his shadow, and he's now on the war path. Really, that's about all the important information."

A moments pause, then he adds,

"Well, acually Sid's threats sounded a lot like I've read that Brand's did- join with me, and we'll reshape the universe in our own image, don't and die. And the nightmare is certainly powerfull, about what I'd imagine the Unicorn feels like, though angrier."

[chalice]

Gray listens, biting her lip as Arrotel fills in as many details on Benedict and Siodmak as he wishes.

Then: "I have a message for you from someone in Chaos called Mandor Sawall, and a younger Lord, Rebis. It has to do with the altered balance between Order and Chaos. It will take some time, though - "


[She waits for Random to either say 'get on with it' or 'later, I need to deal with the situation Arrotel just reported'. If going ahead, the next bit follows - if not, it can be edited into a later post: ]

Gray closes her eyes briefly, ordering her thoughts and memories.

"The 'apparition' at Asmundson's Maze was a Lord of Chaos, Rebis. He claimed he was travelling to Amber when he was transported there instead. He also claims to be the son of your son, Martin - his original reason for seeking Amber was to find his father, but other reasons had since claimed greater urgency. He gave his story in more detail while we were with Mandor, so I will skip to that version, if I may."

Carefully, Gray gives quick description of how she and Rebis were 'transported' from Asmundson's Shadow to the Corwin chapel, then in detail relates the account Rebis gave in the chapel, and the discussion afterwards up to Arrotel's arrival, and his and her departure. Her recall is good; she does not repeat herself or hesitate. She keeps her eyes on Random the whole time - not because she expects to be able to read his expression, but to see whatever he chooses to show.

[Wired*Nun]

"Bill, did you meet Gray and Arrotel? All right..." He listens to the stories without interrupting, then glances over at Bill. Bill puts his pen down and folds his hands, looking at his lap in thought.

"Somehow I didn't think Siodmak was going to become cooperative for long. He's got too many grudges...like Brand did, as you say. Takes everything personally - which ain't necessarily a bad thing, as long as it doesn't cloud your judgment. Well, I'm going to presume Benedict will handle Siodmak, but it concerns me that we may need him if this...conflict...begins any time soon. It sounds as if Merlin is trying to shape things as he wishes, which is not surprising. That's assuming all of this isn't so much bullshit fed you gullible youths just so it would get back to me. Either way, there's no harm in preparing. "

"I'm going to have Bleys raise some troops off in Shadow, and I'll have others make ready in various ways. What do you see yourselves doing now?"

[chalice]

"I'm going to have Bleys raise some troops off in Shadow, and I'll have others make ready in various ways. What do you see yourselves doing now?""I should like to take a short while to catch up on recent history, if I may. A few days in the library? Working and theorising in a vacuum is...liberating in its own way, but some context would be nice. Otherwise I'm going to waste time on needless questions and make more mistakes.

"Unless there is something you would like me to do...?"

Did someone who knew we would be needing Benedict send us Siodmak as a distraction. Or...

"Oh. This gullible youth, " her crooked smile shows she takes no offence at the description, "wonders if someone who knew we would be needing Benedict might have sent us Siodmak to lead him into a trap...? If so, he would be on his way into it right now...."

[Wired*Nun]

"Possible, but Benedict has never needed my help before. And remember, Siodmak would still be in the cells if you hadn't made your impassioned plea." There is no malice in this statement either, just a speculative look. He glances over at Bill again, takes a cigarette out of a gold box and lights it with a match.

"Waddaya think, Bill? Do we have enough going on yet for your taste? Ready to run back home and retire? I'm sure Flora still has some property she could loan you back on Shadow Earth."

Turning back to Gray, he says, "Naw, whatever. Go do your research, I'll let you know if Amber needs you any more. You're as free as you want to be." Kind of a funny look, there...

[chalice]

"Possible, but Benedict has never needed my help before. And remember, Siodmak would still be in the cells if you hadn't made your impassioned plea." There is no malice in this statement either, just a speculative look. He glances over at Bill again, takes a cigarette out of a gold box and lights it with a match. "I hadn't forgotten," says Gray quietly. Though I think I only gave you the excuse to accede to Benedict's request...if it goes wrong, we can blame the idiot girl. Too young to know better. And she sure as hell will be blaming herself.

Voice even quieter, as if speaking to herself, and regretful, she adds: "Doing what is right is always more dangerous than doing what is easy."

That sounds like a quote, and it is. Her father.

And you and Corwin would both be dead if he hadn't held to that.


Turning back to Gray, he says, "Naw, whatever. Go do your research, I'll let you know if Amber needs you any more. You're as free as you want to be." Kind of a funny look, there...And sometimes freedom looks awfully like isolation...the thought is a fleeting shadow in her grey eyes.

"Thank you. Will you excuse me?"

I'd like to study while my mind is still quiet.

[Wired*Nun]

Voice even quieter, as if speaking to herself, and regretful, she adds: "Doing what is right is always more dangerous than doing what is easy." "I'm glad you believe that. The trick is, deciding what's the right thing to do, wouldn't you say? What if Siodmak kills someone you care about? Maybe the difficult, right thing to do would have been to let him burn." A parallel image, he crushes out his cigarette.

"One thing I learned, it's a hell of a lot easier to criticise the King than be him." His expression softens a bit. "I know, I did it enough. It's good to learn from your mistakes," he says quietly, "but it's only a truism, not a truth, that compassion is always the best course. He had his chances. He had an aidience with the King of Amber, for chrissake. Unless the Unicorn feels like intervening, there ain't no higher authority around here, babe. Benedict is right not to wait for him to do any more damage before being killed. Your aunt Dierdre died because we" - I - "wasn't willing to do what was necessary, until too late."

[chalice]

"I'm glad you believe that. The trick is, deciding what's the right thing to do, wouldn't you say? What if Siodmak kills someone you care about? Maybe the difficult, right thing to do would have been to let him burn." A parallel image, he crushes out his cigarette.

"One thing I learned, it's a hell of a lot easier to criticise the King than be him." His expression softens a bit. "I know, I did it enough. It's good to learn from your mistakes," he says quietly, "but it's only a truism, not a truth, that compassion is always the best course. He had his chances. He had an aidience with the King of Amber, for chrissake. Unless the Unicorn feels like intervening, there ain't no higher authority around here, babe. Benedict is right not to wait for him to do any more damage before being killed. Your aunt Dierdre died because we" - I - "wasn't willing to do what was necessary, until too late.""I have not criticised you, or Prince Benedict," says Gray, levelly. Don't confuse me with your conscience...

"I believed Siodmak should have a chance - one chance - and he had it. I am sorry that he wasted it, or was so damaged he couldn't take it, but I don't dispute that it's over and rightly so. You won't hear me ask for second chances for anyone."

The soft voice shakes slightly.

"Forgive me for speaking out of turn - it is not necessary for you to lecture me on how a King of Amber faces heart-breaking, impossible choices. But if my father had chosen your 'difficult, right thing' - then you and Corwin would both be dead. One of the things I'm hoping to learn is whether that would have been good or bad, for Amber. Whether what it cost him - and the risk - was worth what came of it. Until I know enough to decide for myself, though, I will honour what he taught me. Anything else is betrayal."

She inclines her head respectfully (curtseying in her boy's travelling clothes would be ridiculous) and turns to go.

[Wired*Nun]

The snap of command in Random's voice almost pulls her around to face him....so like Father's... "Fortunately I have the luxury to lecture. That's one perk of bein' da King. Don't presume to know Eric's mind just because you share his blood. I knew him a lot longer than you did. Trying to kill Eric, the illegitimately-constituted regent of Amber, as I saw it then, in favor of another claimant, is a damn sight different from threatening the realm itself. I appreciated - appreciate - his mercy, but it was politically expedient, not heartfelt." He stands up and glares at her across the desk, his voice like a whip.

"You are so close to the subject that you can't see him clearly for who he was. He was a good man, mostly, who made some bad choices. Gold and clay. Kind of like me. Kind of like his daughter is growing up to be. One flaw of his - and Corwin's for that matter - was his self-righteousness, something you have inherited in full measure. They were so alike, they should have been the best of friends. I suggest that you go and readjust your worldview a bit, and maybe later you can contemplate the absurdity of implying that you have the right to ratify the Unicorn's choice to rule." A pause, and a hard stare.

"Now you may go. Come back when you understand the difference between the Random who was, and the King of Amber who is."

[chalice]

"You are so close to the subject that you can't see him clearly for who he was. He was a good man, mostly, who made some bad choices. Gold and clay. Kind of like me. Kind of like his daughter is growing up to be. One flaw of his - and Corwin's for that matter - was his self-righteousness, something you have inherited in full measure. They were so alike, they should have been the best of friends. I suggest that you go and readjust your worldview a bit, and maybe later you can contemplate the absurdity of implying that you have the right to ratify the Unicorn's choice to rule." A pause, and a hard stare. Gray's colour rises and then ebbs to nothing, and she looks stricken, as if Random's words cut her to the heart. At this last sentence, though, her expression is shaded with utter puzzlement.


"Now you may go. Come back when you understand the difference between the Random who was, and the King of Amber who is."And how am I meant to do that, when I never knew the first, and the second pushes for my thoughts and then uses them to attack me?

She hesitates in the doorway, looking small and forlorn.

"Thank you." The feeling has drained from her voice, and the dull tone matches desolate eyes. "I apologise for thinking aloud, especially as I seem to have expressed myself very badly, and for not being able to see my father with the impartial clarity others do. I know well that he was no saint, but he was my father, and I l-loved him very much - I spoke to you as I would have to him, and I don't know why, and I do m-most surely regret it. It won't happen again."

Damn it, don't give him another excuse to tear you up, just go. And don't let them see you cry.

She steps out into the corridor, shaking, hoping no one sees the hot tears spilling over and being roughly brushed away.

[chalice]

For a while, Gray wanders listlessly, seeking less-used corridors, pausing to look out of windows at the views that are familiar and yet so painfully not the ones she remembers from Home. Not wanting to be seen in tears, she risks further damage to the calming energies around her mind by using a slight shift, a childhood trick, to 'switch off' her tear ducts without hurt to her eyes.

I should just go. Where? Home? Back to Heldrik and Asmundson? Just out into Shadow? Maybe, but not until I learn what I came to. Not until I see where father is buried, and the battlefield where mother must have died.

Maybe an hour or so later, she will go and see if the room she stayed in ...yesterday?...is still available. She unpacks the small amount of personal gear she brought from the Tower (setting her well-loved bear carefully on the pillow), cleans up and changes into a plain gown of silver-grey; the only one she stuffed into the bag, soft and comfortable with wear. The simple style, and white lace showing at throat and cuffs, give her a puritan look.

Then she wanders slowly towards the Library, wondering if it will be where she expects.

This is so strange...like home but not...this must be what people feel like when they walk through Tir...what am I here? A guest? A ghost? One of the family? A problem? Nothing at all?

Am I wanted here? By anyone?

Once she reaches the Library (asking direction if necessary), she sends a note to Florimel, saying that she would still like to meet and talk, when convenient for her aunt.

She then enquires after another copy of the Book of Amber (since she handed over the one Flora lent her to Heldrik), or browses the shelves looking for one if there is no librarian.

She then curls up in a window seat to read, and soon loses track of time.

[Wired*Nun]

Damned sharp ears pick up Random's words of regret through the closed door. "How can I rule a kingdom, when I can't handle one scared little girl. Shit. I suck at this job, Bill." The rest is lost in the echoes of Castle Amber.

************************************************** *****

Reading the only thing that passes for biography of Amber's royal family, Gray becomes aware of someone watching her. She looks up from the book, brushing the edge of the skirt covering her drawn-up feet, into kind, watery gray-blue eyes. Holding an open-topped brief-case, Bill Roth says quietly, "Mind if I sit down?"

[chalice]

"N-no. " Gray produces a slightly tremulous attempt at a polite smile. "I mean, no of course not."

[Wired*Nun]

"You'll have to forgive Random, he's under a lot of pressure. I'm not justifying his words, just saying that...he's human too. Don't expect more of him than he can give. He can't be a King and a father figure to you at the same time." Ouch, bullseye. "But maybe I can help."

"I'm not family to you, which may be exactly what makes me a good listener. I'm just the lawyer...which also means I am used to keeping confidences. I have no real power, which means I don't threaten anyone. I have a lot of dirt, up here," he taps his bald head, "but no real entanglements. I work for the King. Not for Random, you understand. For the King."

[chalice]

Gray looks at him warily, then away, out of the window.

"He was right," she says, in a low voice, then turns back to the older man with a sigh, misery in her carefully-dry grey eyes - in her whole tightly-hunched body.

"I just don't understand why he draws me out so he can knock me down, that's all." She bites her lip. "He couldn't do it if he didn't remind me so much-" she closes her lips tight on the rest of that thought.

The bleakness in her child's face is frightening - children shouldn't look like that - and her voice is small and lost as she stares at nothing.

"It's all just...too fast. Too much. I went to sleep with a father and mother and family and a future they had planned for me. And I woke up with none of those things, and it's only been a week, except it's years for everyone else, and I don't know what happened, and no one will give me any time.

"I can't think straight. Someone - anyone - makes a comment about kingship, or calls me Lady instead of Princess, or says his name even - and I don't hear what they're saying, I just hear He's dead. And then I screw things up again."

Another look away, and back again, as if she can't stop now the words have found a way out, however incoherent.

"And this place - it looks just like home, just like...I keep thinking I might open a door - like the door to that room we were just in - and see father , or mother or Loran or Jenet...anyone...and then I remember that I won't. I won't see them again, ever.

"And this isn't home. I thought it might be, now, but it isn't and-" she looks at him miserably.

"And n-nobody wants me here, and I don't know where to go..."

[Icebird]

[When Random asks]
"I was thinking that I might rejoin Heldrick or Asmundson. I have a few things I want to ask him now."

Arrotel withdraws into himself as the argument rolls around him. It's easy to forget that he's even in the room- if anyone paused long enough to notice, from his expression even he might have forgotten where he is. He sits back up a little as Gray leaves, and finally reasserts his existence after Random's self recrimination.

"I can't say I've ever been a king, but we all do the best that we can. It's all we can do, really."

"That, or pretend it's all a big joke."

Arrotel quietly stands and leaves.

[Wired*Nun]

"I can't say I've ever been a king, but we all do the best that we can. It's all we can do, really."

"That, or pretend it's all a big joke."
Random looks at Arrotel as if, in fact, he forgot he was there. "Yeah. Yeah, you're right. That's what everyone forgets from time to time. For all our power, we're just people. I'm sorry about your - about Siodmak. No one should have to deal with this kind of thing, but this is what we have to. It doesn't get any easier as you get older, either. The best I can say is, you do grow into your abilities. Some faster than others." He blinks at Arrotel, then sits back down.

"Tell her...tell her I don't hold grudges, for what it's worth. Tell her I wish her well." Arrotel watches Random rub his temples, taking that as his signal to go.

[Icebird]

Arrotel nods and steps out, closing the door behind him.

Shadow is so much easier to deal with- if I don't like something, I can just run away. I suppose that's what reality is- a place that you can only change and exist in with pain, heartbreak and conflict, but a the end of the day, you find that it's all worth it.

He wanders the halls for a little while, eventually ending up in the gardens.

[Wired*Nun]

"I just don't understand why he draws me out so he can knock me down, that's all."
"Maybe he hopes for a different answer. I'm sure he expects too much from you, and your situation.


"It's all just...too fast. Too much. I went to sleep with a father and mother and family and a future they had planned for me. And I woke up with none of those things, and it's only been a week, except it's years for everyone else, and I don't know what happened, and no one will give me any time."
"You needed time - years perhaps - to adjust to something like normalcy. You've had no time. When my wife died, I needed time, and a change. I'm lucky, that I got both, in Amber."

"I can't think straight. Someone - anyone - makes a comment about kingship, or calls me Lady instead of Princess, or says his name even - and I don't hear what they're saying, I just hear He's dead. And then I screw things up again."
"I know. I know." He reaches over to hold her hand in a fatherly way.


"And this isn't home. I thought it might be, now, but it isn't and-" she looks at him miserably.

"And n-nobody wants me here, and I don't know where to go..."

"You know, I have a daughter, back on Earth. I visit her from time to time. I evade answering her questions about what I have been doing, why I have changed. I miss her." A slight squeeze of the hand.

"You remind me of her. Teenage years are hard, for anyone, even with loving parents."

'I want you here. I don't know what I can do to help, but maybe I can. Maybe...maybe you can help me too." He brushes at the corner of his eyes, draining the tears there. "Sometimes, I'm just a shadow here. Sometimes, I'm not real."

[chalice]

"Maybe he hopes for a different answer. I'm sure he expects too much from you, and your situation.

"Half the time I didn't even know what he was talking about..." Gray looks thoughtful. "It felt like...like it was all more about what was in his head than in mine..." How come he's so insecure?



'I want you here. I don't know what I can do to help, but maybe I can. Maybe...maybe you can help me too." He brushes at the corner of his eyes, draining the tears there. "Sometimes, I'm just a shadow here. Sometimes, I'm not real."

The thought of someone actually needing her puts a little life and warmth back into Agraynel's eyes. She squeezes the hand holding hers, and reaches out with the other to touch his tears with her fingertips.

"Feel real enough to me," she says, gently. "I'm sorry about your wife - I'd like to hear about her someday, if you'd like to tell me, that is."

"And thanks." She leans forward to lightly kiss his cheek. "Not many people would have come by to talk after the King made it clear I was out of favour."

She sighs.

"I'll have to stay here for a while - there are things I can't learn anywhere else. But you're the only one who has made me feel welcome, and I'm not staying around to be the King's whipping girl. I'll just keep out of everyone's way until I can head out into Shadow...must be places that would welcome a healer...

"Maybe before then, you could show me this Amber? The Castle is familiar but not the same as where I grew up..." she finds herself talking quite naturally, and even with some faint pleasure, to Bill about her home, and growing up there, about her mother's people, and how the land and Pack had changed when Landon brought her out of the Tower.

After quite a while, she stops with an apologetic smile. "Sorry for going on."

She hesitates.

"Bill - seriously - can you find out what my place is here?"

She throws up one hand in a graceful gesture of deflection, as if warding off some inevitable objection.

"I don't mean the succession or anything like that. What I mean is - I'm seventeen, lost both parents. Back home, I wouldn't be of age for another four years. Someone like me - in my position - they'd have a guardian, be someone's ward. They'd have no real rights or responsibilities. I wasn't an adult there, even after walking the Pattern. But I don't know how things work here...? Am I officially 'all grown up'? And if not...what?" A disturbing thought causes a flash of alarm in the grey eyes. "Random's the head of my family...do I belong to him now...?" Wouldn't that be nice for us both?

"And - if I promise not to go all Ophelia on you -" the flicker of a self-mocking smile "would you take me to see where father is buried? I - well, it sure would be nice not to go there alone."

She looks down and away, wincing at the raw need in her own voice.

[Icebird]

A cool stone bench invites Arrotel to share some of its stability. He sits down and holds his head for a moment, as if wishing to calm his inner chaos by forcing it to stillness with his bare hands.

How long has it been? Still less than a week since I left here for the first time? Perhaps I'll just take a break- a few hours here, a few days in shadow. A time to rest, think, prepare and just plain run away!

He concentrates on Telloth, bringing up his closest friend on the inter-dimensional cell phone.

"What say we take a few days off from anything and everything? Good. Anything in specific you want me to find?"

A rainbow marks his passage into shadow after Telloth has landed somewhere. If nothing goes wrong, he'll head for a fast time shadow (about 24x Amber) of 1900's technology containing anything that Telloth requested.

[Wired*Nun]

"Half the time I didn't even know what he was talking about..." Gray looks thoughtful. "It felt like...like it was all more about what was in his head than in mine..." How come he's so insecure?

"I think it's because you and he are not so terribly different. Your lack of place, of security here, makes you a bit...adversarial, shall we say. He's been kicked around all his life, until now. The youngest, the smallest, the weakest. The only thing he was the best at was games, maybe. Cards and such. He was the baby for over an hundred years, treated like an accident of reproduction by his father. He doesn't know how to be a parent - he and Martin don't really get along, either. He's done the best he can as King here, but who knows why the Unicorn chose him. There are still those who believe Oberon is still out there, waitnig to come back at the right moment. So, you project your father onto him, he projects himself, perhaps, onto you.


"Feel real enough to me," she says, gently. "I'm sorry about your wife - I'd like to hear about her someday, if you'd like to tell me, that is."
"Alice was...special. I can't really explain why, you'd have to meet her, maybe.

"And thanks." She leans forward to lightly kiss his cheek. "Not many people would have come by to talk after the King made it clear I was out of favour."

"Oh, Random is the least vindictive...Amberite...I know, anyway, if not of anyone. He doesn't hold grudges. He's really quite analytical, in his way. Partakes more of Fiona and Benedict's kind of intellect, if I would hazard a guess. You can't be too emotional if you want to win at poker. In fact, he seemed quite regretful after you left. But he is an Amberite after all, with that prideful streak you all seem to share. Deep down, none of you like to be challenged, especially by those who might be perceived as not having paid their dues yet. Think about it - it's normal behavior, really. You of all people could understand this very well. If you join a new pack, how do the rest act? Do you challenge the leader right away? If you do, don't you expect to get your shoulder slashed? You either have to submit, or pick your place you think you belong then fight for that place in the order.

"Maybe before then, you could show me this Amber?

"Of course, I'd be happy to show you what I know, but I don't know much, really."


"Bill - seriously - can you find out what my place is here? I don't mean the succession or anything like that. What I mean is - I'm seventeen, lost both parents. Back home, I wouldn't be of age for another four years. Someone like me - in my position - they'd have a guardian, be someone's ward. They'd have no real rights or responsibilities. I wasn't an adult there, even after walking the Pattern. But I don't know how things work here...? Am I officially 'all grown up'? And if not...what?" A disturbing thought causes a flash of alarm in the grey eyes. "Random's the head of my family...do I belong to him now...?"

"Well, he gave you an opportunity to take your place as a full-fledged member of the family - in name as well as biologically - and you turned it down. So, you're still an unknown quantity, and a loose cannon - or at least, a loose handgun." He shrugs apologetically at her puzzled look. "Sorry, not all cliches translate well into Thari. Most of getting along - and winning and losing, if that matters, speaking as a lawyer - is getting inside the other person's head and figuring out what their point of view is. If you truly want to get along in this family, you have to learn to navigate the currents, not fight them directly. Or, you can stay an outsider."

"As far as legal ramifications, Amber is still a society of rule, not of law, not really. The King, and the family for the most part, is above the law. It's a wonder there isn't more of a mess. There are unwritten rules, of course...but these don't have anything to do with patronage, patrimony, or child custody. It's all ad hoc. As far as the King is concerned, I think, you are an adult, and he expects you to act like one, whether you are fully capable of that or not. You are also a potentially useful tool - or a dangerous one. So, your status is that of a guest in your own house, and always will be, until you take the Oath. To allow you to avoid it would set an unacceptable precedent."

"I've held myself aside from politics by serving the State rather than the man, by being scrupulously fair, by supporting Amber's interests above all others, even in the face of criticism by the royal family, but always acceeding when the decision is made. In short, I have endeavored to be the best lawyer I can be, even when the client is not the best. That's my way, but you have to choose our own."

"And - if I promise not to go all Ophelia on you -" the flicker of a self-mocking smile "would you take me to see where father is buried? I - well, it sure would be nice not to go there alone."

With his best courtly manner, he replies, "I would be honored to acompany you there, whenever you desire."

[chalice]

If you join a new pack, how do the rest act? Do you challenge the leader right away? If you do, don't you expect to get your shoulder slashed? You either have to submit, or pick your place you think you belong then fight for that place in the order.
"Almost exactly that, " she allows, ruefully.

But a pack leader - a true alpha - would only set up a confrontation so as to be able put down a younger wolf if he or she saw them as some kind of threat...

"Though there are places you don't fight for at all - I didn't fight to be Zeta of my old pack; I was the best of the healers who trained with Seril, and when he died, I was chosen caregiver in his place."

She smiles at Bill, looking impish for a moment. "It isn't all dominance and chasing deer, you know."

Then, that thoughtful look again. Very thoughtful.

"Actually - though it looks odd to outsiders - the Omega wolf sometimes does take over very successfully as Alpha...Bearing the stresses of the Pack as the former can make them strong, and wise, as the latter."

Is this how it is with Random?

[Wired*Nun]

"She smiles at Bill, looking impish for a moment. "It isn't all dominance and chasing deer, you know. Actually - though it looks odd to outsiders - the Omega wolf sometimes does take over very successfully as Alpha...Bearing the stresses of the Pack as the former can make them strong, and wise, as the latter." "Well, the anology isn't perfect, and I'm no expert on lupine culture. I was just trying to give you a reference from which to draw. The point is, by not taking the Oath, you haven't submitted to the Alpha's authority. You run with the pack, but you make it painfully clear at every turn that you're doing everything on your own terms, even to implying that his authority is illegitimate, and that your father should still be king. At least, that's how it comes out. How would you act in his place? His authority, for all of being chosen by some kind of demigod, is neither absolute nor unassailable. He can't afford to look weak in front of anyone. He has to be cleverer than anyone, because he's not stronger."

[Wired*Nun]

A rainbow marks his passage into shadow after Telloth has landed somewhere. If nothing goes wrong, he'll head for a fast time shadow of 1900's technology containing anything that Telloth requested.Telloth says, "Good hunting, clear air, open skies are what I need, as you well know." Fulfilling this request is not hard, as Arrotel heads for a wild place of low mountains overlooking rich valleys. Rabbits start and race for warrens. A wolf pack lurks in a hollow, resting in a patch of sunlight. A puma picks its way among patches of snow, stalking a mountain sheep strayed too far from its flock.

Soon, Arrotel comes upon a pair of cabins, smoke proceeding from the larger of them. A woman in a leather skirt and rough-spun blouse looks up from her washing in a tub by the water pump and greets him. "Hello! Are you come about the job?"

[chalice]

Gray takes the gentle lecture with good grace.

"I didn't realise...I thought, taking the Oath after some time to reflect, get some context, would mean more." She sighs. "And I was going to, you know, but that last...meeting...went so wrong -" she bites her lip.

[Wired*Nun]

"Yes, I don't think he gave you enough time. So, we're back around full circle. Maybe you should start now, taking that time, beginning, as you said, with touring and visting places that may help you."

[chalice]

[OOC: we may have to backedit the timings of this conversation now I've revised - hope that's OK]



"Well, he gave you an opportunity to take your place as a full-fledged member of the family - in name as well as biologically - and you turned it down. So, you're still an unknown quantity, and a loose cannon - or at least, a loose handgun." ... If you truly want to get along in this family, you have to learn to navigate the currents, not fight them directly. Or, you can stay an outsider." Didn't take you long to bring in an ultimatum, did it? You aren't here for me at all really...you're here for him...sound and fury from Random, then sympathy from you...caught me completely off guard...Landon was right; I am stupid.

Gray hugs her knees, withdrawing into herself ever so slightly, ducking her head so that a curtain of hair swings down to hide part of her face.

"I took my Oath of Loyalty to Amber when father was crowned, and I have never broken it. Doesn't that count for anything?" She bites her lip again. "I don't question that Random is King, I've obeyed every order he has given and done my best for him since I was brought here."

But actions don't seem to count for anything. Just words.

"I - wasn't sure how I could take another Oath without saying - or implying, since that seems to be such a favourite way of communicating here - that the first was false in some way? It would really help me to know."

She pushes the tumbled hair back behind her ears.

"Even then...Bill, this thing in my mind is going to fade soon, and then I'll be mad again." She shivers, hugging herself tighter. "How could I take a meaningful Oath when I know I might be incapable of keeping it?"

How can I take an Oath to someone who just traded respect for fear and hate?


"As far as the King is concerned, I think, you are an adult, and he expects you to act like one, whether you are fully capable of that or not. Gray's smile is bitter. "Whilst, of course, reserving the right to treat me like a child whenever he feels so inclined. Royal prerogative. Silly me - I thought adults could give and take honest answers to questions, and even have a right to their own opinions. But no - 'maybe he hopes for different answers' you say. More palatable lies, you mean? Even if I were a liar, I wouldn't have a clue which particular lies His Majesty hopes for." She shakes her head. "I don't think I'd survive long in that kind of minefield."


You are also a potentially useful tool - or a dangerous one. So, your status is that of a guest in your own house, and always will be, until you take the Oath. To allow you to avoid it would set an unacceptable precedent."

"I've held myself aside from politics by serving the State rather than the man, by being scrupulously fair, by supporting Amber's interests above all others, even in the face of criticism by the royal family, but always acceeding when the decision is made. In short, I have endeavored to be the best lawyer I can be, even when the client is not the best. That's my way, but you have to choose our own."Another shake of the head.

"However you dress it up - and you do have a way with words - it wasn't The State that just tore me to shreds in there. That was a man, and he lost control. I was out of line, and the King had every right to correct me. And I apologised. But there's a line between correction and cruelty, and Random went way over it. How would you have felt, a week after you lost your Alice, if someone atttacked your memories of her - said she wasn't as good a person as you believed, that you never really knew her, and that loyalty to her was wrong? Even if they weren't at the same time making you feel completely worthless, disliked and humiliated?

"Do you know what might have happened, if he had said those things a day earlier? When I didn't have this-" a fluttering gesture at her temples "- this safety net in my head? I'd probably have lost control and gone for his throat. And then he - or someone else - would have had to kill me. Which I suppose would have solved the problem."

Her pale features harden, but her voice sounds weary rather than combative.

"Well, if he wanted me afraid of him - if for some reason he imagined I wasn't already - then I am. And if you're here for him, you can go back and tell him that I've also reconsidered not hating him, and that it has nothing to do with 'old grudges'. It was all his own work.

"When I went into that room, I respected him. Even...liked him, somewhat. By the time I left..." Gray is unable to keep a trace of regret from her voice "that was all gone."

Another, perceptible, withdrawl.

"I won't be bullied into Oath-taking. Hate and fear don't get you loyalty, only lip service. And I. Won't. Do. That."

I'd never know, would I, if I only took it because I was afraid of being alone? Because I was a coward?

"You, with your talk of wolves - don't you know what happens when you back one into a corner?"

You don't corner a wolf unless you mean to destroy it.

[Wired*Nun]

Bill listens to Gray's side of the conversation with growing concern, letting her talk, letting her vent. Quietly, when she has run down somewhat, he says, "All right. I don't know what you are talking about, your head, safety nets and all that, and I don't know how you feel, and I didn't come at Random's behest. Actually the only instruction he issued was to Arrotel. I was trying to help, and I haven't, and I'm sorry for that. And I do want to be a friend to you, and to Random the man, as well as Counsel to the Court. As much as the lawyer in me wants to argue with you, I'm going to stop doing that. You need time...so let's take some time."

He pats her hand and stands up. "You know, from what I understand, the Pattern is the silver bullet when it comes to things like this - getting rid of spells, curses, and what have you. It gave Corwin back his memory, for example. Have you thought about walking it again? Perhaps it would help you."

[chalice]

He pats her hand and stands up. "You know, from what I understand, the Pattern is the silver bullet when it comes to things like this - getting rid of spells, curses, and what have you. It gave Corwin back his memory, for example. Have you thought about walking it again? Perhaps it would help you."
Or perhaps it would kill me. And maybe it's the same thing. Hard to care.

Gray uncurls and gets to her feet.

"All right. Yes, let's try that."

[Wired*Nun]

"Well, I mean, all right then." He looks at her in surprise. "I didn't realize you would want to jump right in...most people sleep well and prepare mentally for it, do you want to do that, or just...head down?"

[chalice]

"Well, I mean, all right then." He looks at her in surprise. "I didn't realize you would want to jump right in...most people sleep well and prepare mentally for it, do you want to do that, or just...head down?"Gray shakes her head.

"I've had enough sleep to last a lifetime. And to be honest, if I take time to think about it I'll probably lose the nerve..."

She looks up at Bill, eyes bright again - maybe a little too bright? - and slight frame taught with restless energy at the prospect of having a challenge at hand.

[Icebird]

"Hello! Are you come about the job?"
"Yes, I am. The man who told me about it was more than a little vague with regards to exactly what it was, but I'm sure that whatever it is will be fine. I'm Arrow."

He holds out his hand to shake.

[Wired*Nun]

The woman dries her middle-aged hands and shakes his. "I'm Ann. My husband Richart got hurt by a tree-fall a week ago. It crushed his leg. He's stuck in bed for a while and then he'll need some time to recover. I just need someone to help out - take care of the horses, chop firewood, hunt and fish, that type of thing. You'll have room and board and a dollar a day. I know it's not much, but there it is. I'll also do anything for you I can, patch your clothes or whatnot - though I don't think I have anything as fine as what you're wearing. That's your cabin, there, we can get it homey, get you some linens and suchlike. Well?" She looks at Arrotel with hands on hips.

[Icebird]

"I couldn't have asked for better, actually. I'll not be staying too long- a week, maybe a bit longer, but after that I shall have to go. Until then, I shall be happy to help you both."

If nothing prevents him, Arrotel will spend a week there, living simply, helping when asked and even when not, enjoying life. If the weather seems to be nearly perfect, raining if it needs to, there's nothing too odd about that.

[Wired*Nun]

Her face falls as she hears he will only stay a week. "Well, I suppose that's one week more to look for someone more permanent." She puts down the washing and goes inside for a moment, emerging with linens and a broom. "Let's get your place in order."

Leading him over, she shows him to the one-room cabin, and helps him put linens on the bed and sweep the floor. There is a stove, a table, two chairs, and a dresser, and little else. "As I said, it's not much, but times are hard. Let me show you your chores."

Two draft horses, a wagon, a milk cow, some goats and chickens make up the sum total of the homestead. The work is hard, but Arrotel is more than up to the task. From sunup to sundown, he is kept busy, cutting and chopping wood, clearing land, making repairs..a simple life. He takes his meals with Richart and Ann, and he can see they welcome him into their small, cozy home. "Our son would have been about your age, had he lived," says Richart one evening. "Died in the War. Too young." This is perhaps the longest speech Arrotel has heard him make.

The week passes in this manner, and seven silver dollars appear on his table one evening when he comes in from work. "United States of Columbia," says the coin, the eagle on it reminding him of Telloth. On the back is a picture of a conquistador, and the motto, "Vene, Vidi, Vici".

[Icebird]

"Thank you for your kindness. It may seem strange, but where I originally hail from, that is in much shorter supply than riches. If I can take breakfast tomorrow, I shall be on my way then. Also, after I am gone, you might want to take a look at a spot I noted earlier- it looks like someone has dug a fresh hole next to the large tree out front. You might find something interesting"

Arrotel will say no more on the subject that evening. Early in the morning (even earlier than usual), Arrotel will groan, I hate mornings, wake himself up and bury a generous portion of gold from his pouch in the specified place, being careful to make the location obvious. After breakfast, he will pack his pack then depart, saying, "Thank you again. Perhaps my travels will bring me to this place again sometime.”

He will slowly make his way back to Amber on foot.

[Wired*Nun]

Shifting toward Amber, taking his time, Arrotel enjoys traveling through the sparsely-populated wildernesses of shadow. It's easy enough to live off the land, especially with a rabbit or two brought by Telloth in the stew pot.

On the third evening, Arrotel finds himself staring at a pair of eyes reflected in his campfire-light - a wolf or something similar, staring at him. Telloth ruffles his feathers and spreads his wings on his perch in the tree above, and gives an indignant cry. "Back off, wolfling," is the rough translation.

Instead, the eyes resolve themselves into a great black dire, of at least an hundred fifty pounds. It - he - trots to the edge of the fire and sits down, looking around at the campsite. There do not seem to be any others with him.

[Icebird]

"Welcome. If you want to share the fire, feel free to stay," Arrotel says, in thari.

Talking to a strange wolf? What would mother say about that? Probably the same thing she always said- don't get yourself killed.

He'll rumage through his small pack and pull out some beef jerky, making sure his quarterstaff in at the top at the same time.

[Wired*Nun]

The wolf stands up on its hind legs and, over the course of just a second or two, morphs into a man. In fact, morphs is too weak a term - it blurs, and changes - not the way Arrotel would have imagined a were-wolf to change at all. The body did not rearrange itself - it was more like - removing a glamor? Magically changing form? Arrotel tries to remember his basic sorcery lessons from so long ago, especially the parts about illusion or metamorphosis. Damn, it's been too long to be sure...

A cry from above announces Telloth's displeasure with the situation. "Unnatural! Begone, night-creature!" The man revealed in the firelight smiles, his perfect white teeth set in a midnight-black face matching his straight, jet-black hair.

"Your familiar is uncomfortable," says the man in lightly-accented Thari. "Hala-tuath-nin, eraptar-huwalha. I mean you no harm. As you can see, I am unarmed, and alone. My name is Alamor, and would but share your fire and converse for a time." It is true, he seems to be without armaments or equipment of any kind, except for his loose-fitting trousers, tunic, soft boots and a long cloak. A crested ring rests on his left middle finger, but the light is too dim to make out its detail.

[Icebird]

"I'm Arrotel. As I said, my fire is open to anyone. What brings you to this part of the world?"

Arrotel will summon a light link with Telloth- 'What are you catching about this guy that I'm not?'

[Wired*Nun]

"He is carrion! He is cold, yet rises! Eat fresh, leave the rot for the vultures!" Telloth's thoughts are composed of equal parts fear and horror, more afraid than Arrotel has ever felt him.

"I am wandering, as you seem to be. I have but recently finished my training, and am now acquainting myself with the infinite shadow. You are a princeling of Amber, are you not? I surmise this by the Trumps you carry, and...other things."